Closed-angle

"Weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning."
Psalm 30:15

A friend shared with me, "When the shepherd takes the sheep to the high ground for better grazing in the summer, he must lead them through the valley of the shadow of death. He knows the dangers that lurk there, but for the sheeps' better care, he must take them through that valley. As long as they don't stray but stay near the shepherd they'll make it through the valley and into lush, green pastures beyond. I pray for you lush, green pastures just on the other side for you."

Another friend told me, "You are in the thick of battle right now . He is delivering you through the fire and purging out illusions of the past. The Great Tweeker will take every pain and struggle you have and bring glory to His Name. And your face will glow from the purging of the fire you are in right now."

My flesh is tired of the purging, mourning, and valley of the shadow of death. Who wouldn't be? God is quick to remind me He is in control, it is for my good and for His glory. I know God causes all things to work together and that is exactly what He is doing in my life. The enemy makes attempts to shoot fiery arrows at me. I have to choose how to respond to those arrows. I have found myself over the past several months chuckling and asking God what He is going to do.

Yesterday was no exception. I went into the eye doctor for a routine eye exam before my insurance stopped. No major changes with my vision. However, there were changes with the angles of my eyes. According to this doctor, the angles should be around 45 degrees. Half of mine were less than one degree and the other half were around five degrees. His fear closed-angle glaucoma. He referred me to a specialist. His assistant called for an appointment and they just "happened" to have a cancellation for today. I took the appointment and made the necessary phone call to my employer that I would not be at work today. The specialist confirmed I did indeed have closed-angle glaucoma. Pressure inside the eye builds and if not treated will cause blindness. I had surgery on one eye today and will have surgery on the other eye Tuesday afternoon. When I asked why not both eyes today. Both eyes at the same time made perfect sense to me. Get it over with and less trips to Grapevine. He told me it was medical protocol to not do two eyes at the same time in case (this is where he inserted it would not be but in case it did) something is wrong with the laser both eyes are not damaged. Well, I appreciate him thinking of not damaging both eyes. Not sure which is worse, the possibility of both eyes being damaged with a potentially faulty laser machine or walking around with almost closed angles that could rupture causing blindness in that eye. He did not seem to be too concerned, but then again it is not his only good eye. They did the surgery on the lazy eye that does not see most of the time and left the good eye for later. I am still trying to figure this one out!

OK, I got off a little there...focus, yes, I don't have time to have eye problems. I have work which I should not be taking off from since my appearance in court will be soon and I have already been sick too. I have school work which is due NOW and lots of legal stuff. And oh yeah, three teenagers! A year ago I would probably cried. Today, I chuckle and thank God I am allergic to the drops used for glaucoma so the doctor had to use the "new machine" for measuring angles. I had someone ask me the other day why I don't complain. Why? It doesn't change anything? Or help the situation? Lest you get the wrong impression and think me be beyond or above that, NOT, let me inform you I do more than my share of complaining (I'm very selective to whom I complain--Now those selective few may wish I was more selective) I told her I chuckle because if I didn't I would become angry or cry and laughter is good for my immune system!

I have heard it said, when it rains it pours. Oh, but when it pours it washes away all the junk and trash and is remarkably beautiful afterwards. Let it pour (not too fast though) so the impurities in Penny are washed away, Christ is glorified, and I can enjoy the lush, green pastures God intended me to enjoy! Lush green pastures on the other side. I never thought I would see the other side but I am starting to see a glimpse of the light on the other side. I still have a long way to go, but I am getting closer to the other side and would not trade the sorrows for the freedom I am finding in Christ! What an amazing awesome God we serve!!