They Don't Love Back

Some more online "therapy" to clear cobwebs in the head!

Recently I had someone tell me they were tired of loving people who don't seem to love them back. I know it was not funny, especially to the person sharing this with me, but it make me chuckle. Probably because I have been there. I would like to say I have learned all I need to about this but I confess there are times I am still learning. No matter how much you love someone you cannot make them love you. For over twenty years I tried with no change. It wasn't until that person decided they were done and left that I could see it really wasn't me, but them. I cannot change others. I can only change me. I have had some other situations where I think I can change another person, but I am reminded quickly I can't do a thing to make them change. It is part of the faith walk, trusting in the Father when you really can't see a thing.

This past week I found out a co-worker of mine had been divorced. She shared how one of her sons went to live with his father. Another friend of mine had a similar situation. It has been explained to me as "having your heart ripped out." Reminds me of how another person described divorce, "layers of flesh being torn off" with each thing that happens being another layer of flesh. I did feel this way when he left. Although his love was not real, mine was. I have not experienced my kids choosing to not live with me, but I have had a few other things happen in the past couple of years with them that has felt like my heart being ripped out. Does it hurt so much because we hold on too tight? They really aren't ours. We are merely being entrusted with their care. God loves them far more than I could ever imagine. I need to let go and allow God to be God!